Now that Ike is old enough to go to church dances, we were giving him a little coaching on how to survive the trauma. Dean showed him the correct posture for slow dancing, and I said, “Then you ask her, ‘So, what movies have you seen this summer?'”

“And ask her what her favorite video game is,” Dean teased.

“Yeah, and if she’s made any cool bludgers lately,” I added.

Mabel joined in. “You can say, ‘What’s your favorite color–I’m thinking orange?” (This made me laugh hard, which perplexed Mabel, since she hadn’t yet gotten to the part that she meant to be funny).

“Or,” said Dean, “Say, ‘What’s your name? No–wait! Don’t tell me, let me guess. Is it Kara? Tiffany? Jill?”

“Or like this,” continued Mabel. “‘Seen any good movies lately?’ ‘Yeah, I saw X-Men and I liked it.’ ‘Oh, cool. What’s your credit card number?'”

Update: Mabel just remembered another of her suggestions: “So, have you always been this short?”

(Image from here.)

This entry was posted in But Dean is the funniest, I think I'm funny, My kids actually are funny (and sweet and wonderful). Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to Helpful

  1. Jason says:

    Like it? Iiiii Love It!

  2. Ike, would you like to come and live with Grandma and Grandpa until your mother and father and siblings learn to behave themselves?

    My own advice is: Ike, use the farce!

  3. grandma weight says:

    I’ve been crying over my first grandchild going off to K and now I’m laughing so hard over the dance advice that I’m crying more! too funny!

    • zstitches says:

      I have really bad PMS today and my kids start school tomorrow. This is a terrible combination–but at least Henry doesn’t start Kindergarten until next week.

  4. the MomB says:

    Ike is so lucky to get such good advice!
    Anyway, he’s such a handsome & smart dude, there are probably already dozens of girls who’d love to dance with him. All he needs is to practice a leeetle less risk avoidance. He’s a-gonna have so much fun.

  5. Lili says:

    Bahahaha… Mabel is… well, “funny” would be too much of an understatement. She keeps shocking me with her powers of wit.

  6. marymary says:

    How about, “You might have seen someone who looks like me ride my bike past your house, but it wasn’t me.”

  7. marymary says:

    “For a fat girl, you don’t sweat much.”

  8. zstitches says:

    I just added an update with another one Mabel remembered.

  9. the MomB says:

    What was the part Mabel didn’t get to following “I’m thinking orange”?

    • zstitches says:

      It was just the lead-up small talk to the thing about the credit card. To give her credit, she was picturing guessing that someone liked orange because they were wearing orange. (But it still makes me laugh.)

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