If your preschoolers enjoy visiting the elementary school enough that they’ll sit quietly while you help as a last-minute stand-in judge at a kids’ storytelling competition, they will also not want to leave the school when you’re done. You’ll have to resort to brute force to get your tantrumming toddler buckled into her car seat.
And if, to make it up to the kids, you take them to a nearby playground, don’t forget to have your four-year-old use the bathroom at the school before you leave, because the bathroom at the playground will be locked for the winter, and even if he tells you he doesn’t need to use the bathroom “at all,” five minutes later he’ll realize his mistake too late to avoid wetting his pants.
Since it’s cold at the park and you didn’t bring dry clothes, you’ll have to leave, and this time the nearly-two-year-old will be as angry and wiggly as a crazed monkey, and buckling her in will be a mighty feat of coordination and strength. Then you’ll have to help the four-year-old strip down and give him a diaper wipe to clean himself, while the nearly-two-year-old continues to scream. And she’ll scream the whole way home, and the whole time you try to get her back out of her car seat, and after you put her in her high chair, and the whole time you’re making her lunch. She’ll scream right up until she sees the Tootsie Pop you place on her plate for dessert.
Then everything will be peaceful again. And you’ll remember that your kids are awfully cute and dear, and that, all things considered, it’s a good life.