We lucky ones will die before the bees

Mabel really, really wants her own blog, and I even helped set up a private one for her, but then realized since I’d used my own Google account to set it up, she’d have to know my password to post on her blog, which I didn’t really like, so we were going to get her her own Google account, and went through all the steps, and then found out she couldn’t have one if she wasn’t 18, and then we could have started over but by then I was tired, so we didn’t, and now months have passed, and she still wants a blog.

In the meanwhile, here are some amusing stories she typed up for me this fall that I just found in my “Drafts” folder:

Funny Kid Quotes (Mom, you may want to use these for blog/facebook/twitter)
———-
Mabel: Today in school we went to an assembly and it-
E. [3rd-grader in our carpool]: A girl in my class said bees are going extinct!
Mom: Yeah, It’s really sad. And they don’t know what’s causing it, either.
Mabel: And without bees, it will be really hard to polinate plants and-
A. [other 3rd-grader]: And then we won’t have any food!
Mabel: Well, humans can polinate plants, it’s just really hard. Only some people would know how to do it, so they would raise the prices of their plants and all food and flowers would get really expensive.
A.: And then we couldn’t carve pumpkins!
Mom and Mabel: What?
A.: Pumpkins would be really expensive and so we couldn’t just carve them and throw them away. We would have to eat them instead.
Mabel: Well… [A. leaves]
E.: I want to die before bees go extinct!
Mom: But what about your kids and grandkids? Wouldn’t you feel sorry for them?
E.: Oh yeah….NO! I only care about my self! [Nudges Mom] You’re so lucky that you’re old! I wanna be old like you so I can die sooner!
———-
Rose while making supplies for pirate game w/ Henry: Come on, Henry! Work harder! What’s a pirate without his ship?
Henry: A pirate throwing up?
———-
Rose’s most recent joke that she regularly uses:
“What’s a chicken without it’s feathers?”
….
“A NAKED CHICKEN!!!”
She always laughs hystericaly afterwards.
———-
Henry, explaining a drawing that he had long since forgotton: “Uhh…umm…uh….Oh, that’s a super silly man and that’s a bad guy killing him with a hat that’s so crazy and…um…that guy is wiwy, wiwy* sad because the bad guy asidenly**stepped on him.”[Fake laughs]

* Really, really
** Accidentally
———-
Mabel, at school eating lunch w/ friends on J (friend)’s birthday:
K. (friend): Should we play kickball for recess today?
Mabel’s thought process: What can I say that would impress these people and make me seem cool? I could say, ‘J. gets to choose what we play because she’s the birthday girl.’ No, that’s first grader-ish. I could try and be funny and say, ‘If J. said we had to play ponies instead of kickball, we would have to, because it’s her birthday.’ No, that’s to cheesy… [silence grows in between K.’s question and Mabel;s response] ugh, I need to say something! Um…ponies…birthday gift…
Mabel’s final response to K.’s question [about whether they should play kickball]: “If I had a pony, I would give it to you!”

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This entry was posted in My kids actually are funny (and sweet and wonderful), Other people are funny. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to We lucky ones will die before the bees

  1. Stephen says:

    when Mabel gets her own blog i hope i’ll be invited

  2. Thora says:

    I think about the bees sometimes. It makes me scared. So – does 28 count as old enough to die before the bees? I hope so. Also, Mabel kills me with her humor, and abilities.

  3. the MomB says:

    Thanks, Mabel–great job.

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