Cardboard, tin cans, and general detritus

I was just leaning my head on my hand and my head slipped and my thumb hit me in the eye.  I bet that happens to other people, too.

Isaac said in his 8th grade health class the teacher was having the kids wear “drunk goggles” to simulate alcohol-impaired perception.  The first several kids were asked to walk along a straight line, and none of them succeeded.  Then the teacher put the goggles on Isaac, set up four small traffic cones, and handed him the controller to a remote-control car.  He also turned off the lights in the room.  And Isaac proceeded to navigate the car around all four cones without touching one.

Isaac said he hasn’t even had that much experience driving RC cars.  (And he assures me that he won’t take this experience to mean he should drink and drive.)

Dean was confused when Isaac started telling that story, because he’d never heard of “drunk goggles,” but he’d heard of “beer goggles”–a name for the altered perception that makes unattractive people seem attractive when you’re drunk.

That made me think of the “corn flake analogy” another missionary told me while on my mission in France and Belgium.  The analogy compares corn flakes to French or Belgians of the opposite sex.  In the analogy, Americans grow up eating a wide variety of delicious cold cereals, but in Europe at first you’re disappointed when all you can find at the grocery store are corn flakes. But after a while you get used to your corn flakes.  Then you start to think your corn flakes are pretty good. You start to really like those corn flakes.

But then you come back home from your mission and eat your first big American breakfast, and forget all about your corn flakes.

The analogy’s false, though, because on my mission I used to buy a delicious type of Quaker granola-like cereal that had bits of dried apples and clusters of sugary oats, and it was the best cold cereal ever. After I came home to the States, I could never find it here.  I did find the same thing but with raisins, and it was pretty good but not quite as good.  And I think they’ve stopped making it.

The part about French and Belgian men is totally true, though.

I hope you’ve survived to the end of this post, because I saved the best bit for last.  Friday at Henry’s gymnastics show-day, after the kids had done their routines, a little girl raised her hand and said, “Teacher!  Teacher!”  Her teacher stopped what she was doing and asked, “What is it?” and the girl answered, “Goats eat everything!”

Goats probably even eat cornflakes

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This entry was posted in I think I'm funny, Me thinking about stuff, Meanwhile in the real world, Other people are funny. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Cardboard, tin cans, and general detritus

  1. Acheté says:

    I even overheard you telling the punchline earlier tonight, so I should have seen it coming. Busted up laughing.

    • the MomB says:

      I heard the little girl saying it the first time, and I’m still busting up, every time I think about it.

      This was a great post. I loved it. And, way to go, Ike.

  2. marymary says:

    I’ve been to Denver!

  3. Nicole says:

    Is that like muesli? I love muesli.

  4. Nae says:

    I had a favorite clumpy granola when I was a little girl. And they stopped making it, and I’ve never found anything that can compare. Sigh.

    • zstitches says:

      Okay, I finally did proper research. It turns out the cereal I loved was the European cousin to “Quaker 100% Natural Oats and Honey,” which is apparently still available in the U.S., so I’m not sure why I stopped buying it. Maybe it was when I heard some report that granola has more fat and calories than a cheeseburger (or something like that) or maybe it’s just a very expensive type of cereal and never goes on sale. And of course the European version with its light green box and apple pieces was more worth paying a high price for. But maybe my usual grocery store just doesn’t carry it. It did show up on one site as a “hard to find” cereal. Still, I think I might have to buy myself some of this cereal next time I run across it. I could even add my own dried apple pieces. 🙂

  5. Betsy Croft says:

    The corn flake scenario is exactly what I experienced in Ukraine. I would even drizzle sweetened condensed milk on top and thought it was so delicious. Then I got home and was reunited with Marshmallow Mateys.

    I’m not sure if the analogy works with Ukrainian men.

  6. MMB says:

    You won the Thanksgiving Point Giveaway. Send me your deets!

    Merry Christmas!

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