Here it is! A new malaprop post. As usual, I used real-life collected word abuses to create a helpful article, while destroying my own ability to spell correctly or see straight.
Malaprop count: 60. The “answer key” is below the post. (Please note that the “answers” are my best guesses and could themselves be incorrect.)
Many thanks to my generous malaprop-collectors. You can always send me more at writetozina at gmail dot com (which is my public email address that I check about twice a year, but am always happy to find messages there waiting for me).
If you have any attention of participating in National Novel Writing Month, this primmer will help make your novel as static as the latest best-sellers! Whether you’re an amnature who just dapples, or you’ll be hocking your book for publishment, these hints will give you the modevation you need. They are not just gimics, but true templets for success.
If your work is a memoir, it should be more than a travel log. Don’t sensor yourself; bear your soul. Your story should be teaming with cleaver whit. It should be inciteful. Specific details should be dually noted; one writer (name whithheld) wrote about his fraternal grandfather who was of Lebanese dissent, and went over his life with a magnafine glass. This kind of pain-staking research shades light on the story.
Now, let’s say your work is fictitional. If you want it to make a truly indelegible impression, to strike a cord, to have your readers pouring over your book until sleep alludes them, so that by the end of the story-ark they are balling their eyes out, here’s how:
Although your characters need enduring traits to make them likable, there has to be trouble in paradice. Smash your characters’ lives to smitherines and readers will emphasize with them. Give them malignant deceases. Describe the sha-grin of a dottering widow at a grave-sight. Show paupers who eek out a living, making due only with necessities but no niceties. Describe the heartwrending pain of a man who has been malled.
Also, nobody cares about a boring plutonic relationship, so make sure every relationship is equipt with conflict. Make your characters passionet! Ease drop on conversations to make your dialog suddle and realistic, so readers can be on your characters’ waive length.
If you follow this advice strickly and do lots of find tuning, you can be sure your work won’t be utter trite. Then you can play it by year, throwing in some poetic devices such as illiteration. Viola! You’re ready to send your quarry to the Editor and Chief.
quid essential (quintessential)
have any attention of (intention)
static (exciting, electric)
travel log (travelogue)
sensor myself (censor)
to bear one’s soul (bare)
dually noted (duly)
fraternal grandfather (paternal/maternal)
of Lebanese dissent (descent)
magnafine glass (magnifying)
shades light (sheds)
strike a cord (chord)
pouring over (poring)
sleep alludes someone (eludes)
story-ark (story arc)
balling one’s eyes out (bawling)
enduring traits (endearing)
grave sight (site)
eek out a living (eke)
making due (do)
only necessities, no niceties (luxuries)
plutonic relationship (platonic)
ease drop (eaves drop)
waive length (wave)
find tuning (fine)
utter trite (tripe)
play it by year (ear)
Editor and Chief (editor-in-chief)