Let the wild rumpus begin

Last night I was looking at Anthropologie for sewing inspiration. This is like a buffalo looking for inspiration in a poodlewear shop, but I like to start with a stylish concept and convert it to something dowdy and modest.

I almost immediately forgot to look at the clothing because I was distracted by the apparel titles.

This is the “Line Drawing Buttondown.” It doesn’t actually have a button-down collar, but it does have buttons down it, which makes it a conservative, librarian, superhero-girlfriend look. You will be as simple as a line drawing! Also that thin.

This is the “Archeologist Button-Up.” The difference between a “Buttondown” and a “Button-Up” is that archeologists, such as Lara Croft, have to be reminded to fasten their shirts. Also, they are depicted in full color.

This is the “Dissimilar Buttondown.” As you can see, it’s completely different from the other shirts.

Finally, the “Raccoon Rumpus Blouse.”  The description says, “Antique interpretations of furry friends playfully pattern a sweet, swiss dot surplice top.”

Those sweet raccoons!  With their cute rumpuses!  This dainty top is perfect paired with the “Dispersed Dumpster Cargos” and the “Merry Mauling Pendant.”

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This entry was posted in I think I'm funny, Sewing, Taking self-deprecation to a remedial level. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Let the wild rumpus begin

  1. Rachel says:

    This is un.be.lievable. I think I’ve found my new dream job. And I’ll be wearing the raccoon rumpus blouse to it, that’s for sure.

  2. Betsy says:

    Lara Croft was an archeologist?

    I would totally wear that raccoon shirt.

  3. ML says:

    I love this post! please analyze more of these great samples!

  4. Acheté says:

    Apparently “buttondown” is their word for a shirt that buttons like a man’s shirt, with the buttons on the right and the upper, buttonhole placket on the left. You know, for common women that have to dress themselves.

    Other than mentally putting on one of your own shirts, do you know how (as an American) to remember the convention? Unfortunately I will never forget it (and now neither will you): If the man is driving, they can see into each other’s shirts.

    • zstitches says:

      I’d always heard that a man’s buttons were that way so he could draw a sword with the right hand and unbutton his jacket with the left, but I don’t know why a woman’s had to be the other way. So we can hold a baby in our left arm and . . . ? Anyway, here’s the ditty I use to remember the convention when I’m sewing: “Left over right, and right over left, and women are always right.”

  5. the MomB says:

    This is like how we’ll still eat the food even if the menu copy is ridiculous.

    p.s. I do not understand why but ALL menu copy is ridiculous; some of it is just worse than others.

    p.p.s. I laughed out loud (!) at your witty commentary, Z.

  6. This is just bizarre. I am so not cut out for the world of high fashion.

    • zstitches says:

      We’ve all seen vapid and silly catalog descriptions, but I thought these really took it up a notch. I’d say it takes a rare talent to write them.

  7. Thora says:

    Nothing says playful like racoons…. I love your commentary on these!

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