Irony and slapstick at the Costco

I was leaving Costco with a cart loaded high.  (Strawberries! Croissants! Boursin cheese!  A giant pack of toilet paper!)  I noticed two women walking a bit ahead of me who each looked about my age and size, and I found myself evaluating their wardrobe choices. One was wearing jeans that tended towards being Mom Jeans, a boxy shirt, and had her hair pulled back in a long, bland ponytail.  The other had on sleek, neutral-toned sandals, a nice pair of  tan capris, and a stylish loose-fitting short-sleeved cotton top over a close-fitting tee.  Then I noticed the cotton top’s tag was showing.  I looked again, and her shirt’s seams were also exposed–she definitely had her shirt on inside-out.  Unless that short-lived trend from the 80s is back, I can’t imagine she was wearing her shirt inside-out on purpose.

A couple minutes later I had finished loading most of my groceries and had just grabbed the giant pack of toilet paper when I heard wheels on asphalt and turned to see my cart  rolling away at top speed.  I turned and chased it,  and as I reached with one hand to grab it, the toilet paper slipped out of my other hand and landed in the middle of the road.  I laughed, but hoped there hadn’t been many witnesses.  If there had, at least they’d have been distracted from noticing any of my wardrobe mishaps.

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8 Responses to Irony and slapstick at the Costco

  1. Anneke says:

    Here is a random funny story for you:

    My mother lives to be witty and to embarrass me with said wit. One of her favorite pastimes at Costco is to ask the cashier, when he rings up the giant pack of toilet paper, “Do you think this is the right amount of toilet paper? I mean, proportionally, to the amount of food I bought.”

    • Megan says:

      I think that’s hilarious! But I would be mortified if my mom said that.

    • zstitches says:

      Anneke, I would LOVE to see the cashier’s reaction, if I could be present but invisible. 🙂 And I can’t believe I’ve never thought about grocery to toilet paper ratios.

    • Pilcrow says:

      When Elder Jones (on the mission) needed to buy some personal unguent at Walgreen’s, I made a point of loudly remarking that it sure was hard to find the Preparation H, isn’t it Elder? Ah, friends who are easy to make laugh are the best.

  2. Megan says:

    I think the top must have been inside-out on purpose, or else her friend isn’t very observant.

    • zstitches says:

      The two women weren’t together. However, last night my younger sister was wearing a top that has the zipper deliberately on the outside, so maybe I’m just behind the times. (That can be remedied easily enough, if all I have to do is wear my clothes inverted.)

  3. Amy Springer says:

    Awesome graphic- and story, and clip on the “mom jeans.” Sadly, I think most would describe me as the first mom in the story. :S

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