I’ve just been realizing that when I write a nationally best-selling young adult novel, it’s going to create some problems for me. My publisher will want to send me on book tours and to book signings, and I won’t want to spend time away from my precious and numerous offspring. Or, to be more precise, I won’t want to spend time away from my offspring doing anything not strictly recreational. Also, as a weary middle-aged mom-of-five, I’m really not the ideal spokesperson for a popular book for youthful-type persons. And I have nothing to wear.
Happily, I’ve already come up with a solution to these obstacles: I’ll hire a beautiful smart young college student, make her memorize the answers to a few key questions (I’ve heard they always ask the same few questions at book functions) and send her on the book tours for me. This will leave me free to spend time with my adorable, adoring, perfectly-behaved posterity, and/or to sip lemonade on a beach (while reading someone else’s acclaimed young adult novel). Maybe I’ll even use a few of those free hours to write another nationally best-selling book.