I think I’m just so funny (warning: this post may not be suitable for those with a sense of decorum and decency)

I just left this as the 120th comment on this post of Kristina’s (in which she interviews characters from the “Twilight Saga”) and I thought it would be a shame to leave it languishing there where no one would read it.  Because, speaking of shame, apparently I have none:

So, speaking of Jasper getting his cycle, you raised a question that’s always bothered me, and yet which I would never talk about in polite company, which makes it perfect to bring it up here. So, Bella gets a cut on her finger and the vampires nearly lose control? SO HOW DO THEY HANDLE IT ONCE A MONTH (every “new moon”) WHEN SHE GETS HER PERIOD?!!

I think you’ll agree that question warranted the capitalization.

I do think this is one post that can be left unillustrated.

Or, then again:

I was very clever when I Google Image Searched this, because I searched for “waxing moon,” and spared myself having to sift through hundreds of photos of Taylor Lautner’s pectoral muscles.  (It was a risky search, though, because I could have accidentally typed “waxing chest.”)

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19 Responses to I think I’m just so funny (warning: this post may not be suitable for those with a sense of decorum and decency)

  1. Mrs. Organic says:

    I wondered the very same thing! One more proof that romance books do not deal in reality.

  2. Stephen says:

    Good point.

    Here’s a note of interest (to me, at least). You searched for images of “waxing moon” and came up with one waning!

  3. Lili says:

    Oh, Zina. You’ve opened a whole can of worms. I’m sure Stephanie Meyer’s already had to answer this one. And I’m sure it has something to do with vampires having different blood, and… can vampires have babies? They can’t, can they? So do they even have periods–or eggs? Question: if a human female only has so many eggs, and then she’s transformed into an immortal vampire and lives for hundreds of years, do her eggs dry up? Because, there’s no such thing as vampire menopause.. Oh, I’m so out of touch with the twilight saga, I just don’t know!
    Hey wait, my friend Jake Black (yes, that really is his name) is a comic book /tv show screenwriter… he did the official collector’s cards for Twilight and New Moon…
    maybe I could ask him…

    • zstitches says:

      You might be onto something–maybe the transformation from mortal to vampire is just an elaborate metaphor for menopause.

  4. Kristina P. says:

    Honestly, I think that with a book about sparkling vampires, this is the least of her concerns. 🙂

    But it is a valid question.

  5. Megan says:

    All I can say: ha ha ha!

  6. Jill M says:

    I can’t believe I am the first one to have the answer! I should probably be embarrassed to know this, but I remembered reading this and then found it again on the Twilight Lexicon website under Correspondence with Stephenie, Personal Correspondence 2:

    “Several girls wanted to know if Edward would have a more difficult time being around Bella when she’s having her period. Answer: Yes, a little bit, but he would never say anything about it–much too much of a gentleman. And Bella would be way to embarrassed to ask. (It’s not the same as a cut, though. It’s sort of “dead” blood, if you get my meaning).”

  7. Jessie W. says:

    Hahahaha, you crack me up. Very valid question, indeed.

  8. Jessie W. says:

    P.S. I don’t buy Stephanie’s explanation either, lol!

  9. Hannah says:

    Ha, ha, ha…

  10. planetnomad says:

    I can’t believe no one else has sent you this. I’m so proud! (BTW, here from Sue at Naval Gazing…I just loved your comment about trying to choose your kids’ names so I had to come check you out. My DH and I practically FOUGHT about names and at one point were going to call our son by different names…luckily we compromised. And I use real names on my blog too and I LOVE the name Hazel!)
    Ok, I think you will love this: http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=45278 MUCH better than Stephanie Meyer’s “explanation.”

    • zstitches says:

      Nomad, the fates seem determined not to allow me to reply to your comment. (I kid you not–every time I’ve tried, one of my children has suddenly needed his or her life saved and/or to be picked up from school, and just a minute ago one of my fingers slipped and hit something that simply closed my browser mid-sentence.) But that’s okay, because I really don’t know *how* to thank you for sharing that remarkable, remarkable video. I don’t even know *whether* to thank you. 🙂

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