I should learn never to say what I’m going to do or not do on my blog, unless I want to shortly thereafter do just the opposite. (I’d been saying that I’ve stopped recycling my comments, but apparently I’ve started doing that again.)
At The Apron Stage, Louise had a list of “dark fortunes,” or fortune cookie messages that bode ill. You should go read her list by clicking here. There are some great contributions in the comment thread, too. And here’s what I had to offer:
My siblings and I have played this same game of making up dark fortunes, and came up with a list much like yours. I love your list and am so glad you found it. My brother came up with my favorite dark fortune:
Here are some more tries:
Don’t look under your bed.
The next time your husband says he has to work late, park outside his office and follow his car.
It’s too late to reallocate those stocks.
Fly away home. Your house is on fire, and your children all gone.
You will drop this fortune on the ground and a small bird will choke on it and die, which will prevent the bird from eating a butterfly, altering the butterfly’s flight path and (in keeping with Chaos Theory,) triggering the Apocalypse.
You will keep doing crossword puzzles to keep your mind active, and won’t realize you’re actually scribbling nonsense on an old grocery store flyer.