Malaprops: Political expounsion edition

I’ve briefly overcome, or at least ignored, the woes of pregnancy hypertension, fatigue, and puffy ankles to bring you this labor of love;  a new installment in my malaprops feature. This is a feature where I compile gems of misspellings and mis-usages culled from the real World Wide Web into pithy words of wisdom. You can find previous malaprop posts by finding the malaprop category in the drop-down menu over there on the right. Also, many thanks to friends and family who helped collect these gems.

Malaprop count (until Tracy corrects me, since I can never seem to count right): 32.

Not to make much adu about nothing, but I should warn you that this post is not for the feint of heart, nor for those who don’t like to talk publically about politics. This last election made me into a political affectionado, and I just can’t keep it to myself anymore, even if I might be riticuled.

I want to expediate this, so I’ll cut right to the quick: People can be such hipicrates! You can rebuttle your hearts out, but, if you’ll bare with me, I still can’t see why people went so bizerk about the last female vice-presidential candidate – especially since the VP is largely figurative. I know a lot of lobbiests and political analists cried fowl and acted like her selection was a catastrify, but I think so much of it was just a big miss understanding. She was oosing with character, and was definitely of good vice-presidential timbre, and I wish the beknighted masses could have seen that. I especially have a biff with the press – they can be so conceded and dillusional, and write such degrating dribble. I really wish when people read things in the media they wouldn’t just take it at facebook value. They need to learn to take it as a grain of salt. I’m sure there’s no foulproof way to keep the press honest, but if they would really purvey the damage of their being so prejudice, the results to our country would be much less disasterous.

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12 Responses to Malaprops: Political expounsion edition

  1. Kristina says:

    So, I have been meaning to ask you this, but do you right these up yourself?

    (See how I played along?)

  2. Pilcrow says:

    Ooooh these are so painful. I think Facebook value is capitalized. Well played.

  3. zstitches says:

    Kristina, do you mean do I make up the sentences? Yes. I collect the words and then put them all together. It’s very difficult and requires lots of skill. 🙂

    Pilcrow, I just don’t know about the capitalization. Was he thinking of Facebook, or does he just think there’s a word facebook that goes into that expression?

  4. Trina says:

    Oooh, political analist. That sounds like a lovely career.

    Well done.

  5. Mrs. Organic says:

    If you’ll just bare with me – that’s a classic. Really, at facebook value?

  6. Acheté says:

    Counting the title, I concur: thirty-one glittering gems.

  7. the MomB says:

    I should never doubt you, Zina. I think you could have fitted lobbiest into this one. Brilliant.

  8. Lili says:

    BRAVO. I was going to list my favorite, but then more kept popping up. But I did appraciate the “crying fowl” followed up later by “foulproof”

    And of course facebook value ROCKS, but we already laughed about that in the moment.

    (I really am going to bed now, I swear)

  9. Lili says:

    Always proofread before posting. That was a mess. But it’s late.

  10. Kerri Madsen says:

    Facebook value! I love that one! I don’t know if I can “bare” it all–they were so funny!

  11. UnkieJas says:

    I so have been wanting to tell you the one I heard from some loud kid on the bus the other night:

    “It bottles the mind!”

    His more idiom-aware friend challenged him, “Did you say bottles the mind??”

    “Yeah, like when you’re thinking and your thoughts get all bottled up?”

  12. zstitches says:

    Oh that’s a beauty. Love it. Thank you.

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